Be Composed

This is the first post in my brand new series “Be”. Where we will look at different ways of feeling and being and examine how we can shift from our undesired feelings to the ones we wish to embody and feel. It is important to me that we don’t say “I want to be more ” or “I want to be less _” we have enough negative self-talk in our life. So for those of us seeking change and becoming who we want to be, I thought this would be a new and fun approach. I hope you enjoy.

Composure.

Calm.
Cool.
Collected.

I love feeling composed. I love feeling calm, relaxed, and collected.
I struggle with maintaining my composure for mostly 3 reasons.

  1. Overtired
  2. Overwhelmed
  3. Stressed

As a Mom of three boys and a coach working to build my own business maintaining composure can be difficult. So I wanted to share some of the ways I maintain composure and address the 3 main triggers I listed above.
So here are 5 ways to help you feel composed, even when life gets hectic.

  1. Take care of yourself first

This is the most important thing I can reiterate. When I am up early, have my day planned, have the clothes picked out and know what’s happening that day- I can handle just about anything.

Getting a good nights rest, eating what you need to fuel your own unique body, being ahead of your day so that you are in control is the number one secret of composed people.

  1. Be Proactive, Not Reactive
    Really get that schedule honed in. Know your goals. Know what’s going on with your money, your body, your home. Open your eyes to every aspect of your life so that you’re in charge.

Sometimes ripping that bandaid off and looking at the different sectors of your life can be uncomfortable. I know there have been times where I have avoided the scale or checking my account balance because I would just rather not deal with it. That method, however, usually leads to bigger problems down the road. Whether you decide to take control or not, you will still reap the consequences.

  1. Take Charge of Your Thinking
    Meditation is so popular because it really does help. We have the capability to observe our thinking. To hear our negative thoughts without reacting to them or judging them. We can literally just watch our brains and see what’s going on in there.

Often times it’s a lot of old stuff. Negative beliefs or thoughts from when we were kids. Most of it isn’t true either. Yet continues to play in the background of our mind.

These “limiting beliefs” are the NUMBER 1 reason we hold ourselves back. Whether it be a lack of self-worth or just feeling like we could never achieve something, or the scariest of the three comparison, what we think, we believe. What we believe, becomes our life.

So if you believe you can’t handle this, or there is no way you can do something, you’re right.

So how do we counter these thoughts? Stay curious.
Watch your thinking.
Write down some of the thoughts that come up over and over and ask “is this really true about me?”

Your thoughts create your emotions. Period. So if you want to start feeling better, if you want to feel in control and composed, you have to have the thought to match that emotion.

“I can handle this”
“People do this everyday”
“It’s possible”
“One step at a time”
“I’m OK”

Take breaks, check your head space, make sure you are breathing!
Allow yourself to come back to a feeling of equilibrium.

We can choose how we feel by choosing thoughts that help us feel good. Sometimes we can’t get from total overwhelm to zen. We can, however get to total overwhelm to compassion for ourselves. Compassion creates a space of understanding the drivers of that feeling of overwhelm, and allows us to shift in a new direction.