The Path of Least Resistance

Winter can be difficult, am I right?

It’s cold or raining. There is stress, there is change, but that change doesn’t seem to come quickly enough.

But the seasons are changing my friend. And with them, we must go along too.

As the northern hemisphere begins to defrost and warm itself we begin to reawaken our senses. Inevitably there will be shifts, in relationships, jobs, health, family. Whether or not these changes come by our own making or as an external force we are responsible to react in a way that honors who we are and what we choose to create in our own lives.

When we resist change or push back in fear we can create so much pressure and pain within ourselves. Our brains can quickly descend into the worst case scenario and overwhelm.

Enter the art of allowing.

For those who are familiar with Abraham Hicks teachings, this will sound familiar. But like trying to swim upstream or against the tide, we create hardship instead of acceptance and flow.

It isn’t so much the circumstance of change that we need to allow, but more of the emotional experience.

If someone leaves and it makes you sad, allow yourself to be sad and flow with that emotion. If you have to go to work, go to work, but don’t force yourself to be at the top of your game, don’t numb out. Be.

Healthy allowing of feelings is crucial for our understanding of ourselves. It’s also crucial for our health. Acceptance and allowing of what is, may not be what we wish it, but it empowers us to respond in healthy ways, honoring our humanness, our beliefs, and how we wish to show up in the world. Authenticity at it’s clearest.

 

 

Let the dead things die!

It’s Halloween!

What a wondrous season. I love the fall, it’s my birthday, sweaters and layering and boots season. What’s not to love?

But what I love so much about fall is that it is a reminder of the great cycle of life, things and seasons. Death and rebirth. For those of us who are into astrology, it is also the scorpio season. This is a time of year for alchemical change. Total transformation.

When I read Clarissa Pinkola-Estes book Women Who Run with the Wolves (you can buy the book at the link fall is a great time to read these classic stories of the Wild Woman Archetype) this became a central theme and daily reminder to myself.

As we move into the darker part of the year, and the weather changes around us it is a good reminder to let go and let all that doesn’t serve us fall away.

So what does this look like in my life?

Dropping bad diet habits.

I was on a very strict diet for a long time and I was uncomfortable and miserable and wasn’t getting any results. I am letting that go.

I am ushering in health, plant-based meals twice a day, and cutting way back on drinking.

Getting real in my relationships.

Being honest about my feelings and being clear when things don’t go well. Also, if necessary saying goodbye.

Practicing Non-Attachment

Being clear that nothing is permanent, and everything is always changing and giving myself permission to be in the moment. Showing up to do my work but letting it go if it’s not the right path. Not feeling attached to outcomes or possibilities but practicing allowing.

My suggestion to you this season:

What do you want to leave behind?

Who do you want to forgive?

What do you want to stop punishing yourself for?

What isn’t making you feel bright and alive?

Make a list of all that is no longer bringing you joy, peace or happiness that isn’t worth the effort to fix.

Make a little alter of beautiful things that bring joy to you.

For example, I have a statue of the Green Tara that my best friend gave me with handwritten prayers from India inside that I like to place with crystals and stones and candles. But a little bowl of water in the middle.

Light that paper on fire.

Say a prayer to whomever you connect with, source, God, universal energy, Gaia, or yourself and release it.

freestocks-org-155624-unsplash

It’s time to prepare ourselves for winter, for what we want to bring in to the world and create, it’s time for planning and contemplation, don’t muddle your vision with things that no longer serve you.

Best to all, and all the love in the world,

Alissa

Identity

Today we are going to discuss something that may not seem flexible at first.

Who we are.

Better yet, let’s change the words here. Our perception of ourselves.

Our perception of ourselves and the way that we interpret our personal reality is the key catalyst to your potential successes and failures. Our personal perception of our capabilities, our strengths, whether or not we are popular or good people is the way we filter the stimulus around us.

Imagine this, I am a young woman who is 15 years old, I go to Highschool at a prominent suburban school and I am going through puberty. My entire life I saw myself as a rebel, a tom-boy, and a very extroverted person. But as my body is physically changing I am becoming more reserved, I am wearing different and more feminine clothing and trying to follow the rules closer. What has happened here?

As this young woman’s body has changed, her perception of herself and how she fits into this new world (freshman in HS) has changed her view of herself. What once made her strong and outgoing is no longer a highly valued social currency. She interprets her attractiveness to others now as wrong and begins to change. Shutting down some of her key characteristics to fit in. Her new perception of herself is that she needs to be quieter, more physically attractive and better behaved so that people will like her more.

This is definitely a survival tactic and potentially even growing up, but as our perception, our identity is developed both culturally and individually this can benefit us or harm us. In this example of the young girl, her once exuberant, rebellious lively personality has been identified as unattractive. Her gift has been put away. As she grows older she may bring out those positive characteristics depending on what her career, college experience or other experiences influence her.

It is important to remember that we are all evaluating and judging our own behavior in different contexts and that not only does that determine how we believe others will perceive us, it determines how we perceive others.

It is also important to note that when we are young and going through adolescences we are essentially domesticated through punishment and reward for our behavior, and we continue to function this way as adults. There are benefits involved in hiding parts of ourselves, such as safety, acceptance, more attention, or less. Our brains are motivated through this and that is why changing is so difficult to achieve.

Our identity is flexible if we desire to unleash a new person for instance, or make-over ourselves, it is possible. Identity isn’t necessarily fixed because it is an interpretation of ourselves. So if our current set of morals, beliefs, goals don’t fit with the life we want to achieve, one important step to take is to become the person we wish to be.

Who do I need to be to achieve this?

This question is everything because change will take a different set of behaviors and choices. It will take a potential change in schedule or how you see yourself. Long-term lasting change in career, health, relationships, or anything else requires learning and action. Those actions will not be the ones you are doing or else you would already be seeing these results.

So, mentally munch on this a while, who do you want to be? Who do you see as your highest potential self? What is it that you want to accomplish and what will it take to get there? Who are people who have accomplished what you want to accomplish and how can you emulate them? What are the unique personal gifts that you can enhance to get you to the next level?

I can’t WAIT to hear your feedback.

Go get em’

 

Alissa

Episode 10 Concept to Experience

 

In today’s episode, we are going raw! I am talking about moving from a concept of the life you want to EXPERIENCING the life you want.

We are talking about daily decisions, life visions, and everyday actions to get you on the path toward the concept you have of the life you want. The journey begins! Let’s get started.

Check it out! https://www.spreaker.com/show/2963434/episodes/feed

Celebration and Mourning

Celebration, Mourning.

My youngest sister got married. It was the most amazing wedding I have ever been too. Everyone I love and have known forever was there.

My sister and her new husband have a beautiful relationship and they were truly celebrated.

We are so proud of them.

As this was the very best day of their life (hopefully more to come), there are so many emotions that come to the surface around family, past family of origin pain, divorce, death, loneliness, self-worth, personal identity within a framework that you may or may not have experienced in years.

Family reunions can have similar effects, funerals, anywhere where so many intertwined histories combine can create emotional experiences that can range from uncomfortable to completely overwhelming.

What is beautiful about this emotionally charged kind of event is that there are so many opportunities for sharing, supporting. Telling people you love them, or that you are sorry. Finding hope in what your loved ones have overcome or created, that you may do the same.

It has taken me a full two days to process all of the amazing interactions I had that night.

The beauty of two truly amazing people getting married, reconnecting with those I love, missing those who are no longer with us.

There is room for all of it.
We are messy emotional human-folk of course.
We all belong no matter what we’ve done.
Our feelings are valid.
Our pain and suffering are real.
Our joy is real.

So in times of celebration, when all the feelings rise up, allow them. Recognize them, name them to honor them.
But most importantly, heal them.
For yourself, and the life you wish to create.

Release, and remember the good parts that you want to keep.
Forgive yourself and others, because the opposite is what is keeping humanity locked against one another.

Never forget we all matter. Because we do.
Center in love, and non-judgment.
And party your ass off with all the people you love.

Cry a little if it hurts.

With love and celebration,

Alissa

Episode #5 with Jaime Messina!

I personally adore her, although we have never met in person.

Jaime is an inspiring fitness influencer on social media. Her emphasis on health, mental wellness, and her love for being an Aunt bring a lot of joy, hope, and inspiration to my social feeds.

I loved having her on the podcast because she BLOOMS.

Her story is inspiring and her work is amazing. I’m so honored to introduce you to her.

 

Check it out!

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-bloom-method-podcast-episode-6-with-guest-jamie-messina/id1399104144?i=1000418090022&mt=2

Your Personal Environment

So a couple years ago I attended a transformation coaching seminar and the instructor was coach Chris Lee.

Chris Lee is also Lewis Howes, from the School of Greatness podcast, coach. So this guy is major and he is on the podcast often.

During one of his recent interviews with Lewis, he talked about your “Personal Environment” and he doesn’t go deep into that idea in the podcast but I have been chewing on this concept for months.

I believe in stewardship deeply. Being responsible, being a good neighbor, making sure that those who are in my personal environment comfortable.

My husband and I are on Daufuskie Island in South Carolina. During our stay we make sure to talk to the local people who live here, support small businesses and clean up trash alongside the roads. She is just a little island, but we have so much love for it and we feel like we are being good stewards of the place we love to visit.

So how do we become good stewards of ourselves? And our personal environment?

I have

been really thinking about this deeply and truly.

While on vacation a lot of stuff comes up for me. My health, my weight, am I doing what I’m supposed to be doing? And I’ve decided that I’m done wasting my vacation and relaxation time because I haven’t done the work daily so that I can enjoy the week fully.

Daily Work

kabir-kotwal-688065-unsplash

Daily work of doing what my body needs, doing the everyday menial tasks, making the tough choices so that when it’s time to rest and play, all is tidy nothing is in limbo.

Getting things on the calendar ahead of time.

Checking it and updating it every day.

Knowing where I want to spend my time and energy.

Resting when I need to rest.

Setting an alarm to wake up daily at the same time.

Knocking down a mile so my brain and body are healthy.

Eating the right things so that when I indulge I’m not rattled with guilt.

Making sure my brain in under control and I’m not indulging in obsessive thinking or negative self-talk

pawel-kadysz-790-unsplash.jpg

Knowing Where You Are Going

Setting Goals

Knowing who you are and what you want

Changing and taking action so that you are happy with who you are

Seeking guidance when you are lost

Being in control of your own life, time and destiny

Being Responsible

sai-de-silva-41029-unsplash.jpg

For your words

Being a leader in your own life

Being honest

Communicating feelings and resolving differences

Creating healthy boundaries for those who aren’t adding to your life experience in a positive way

Making sure you are mentally healthy! It’s YOUR responsibility!

 

 

 

We create environments everywhere we are. Your home is an environment, your car, your office, and you are responsible for being a good steward.

Keep that grass cut, water the flowers, plant new things, pull out the dead ones, and put some fun music on. I’ll bring drinks.

Talk to you next week,

Alissa