Mental Barriers

Today I’d like to talk about breaking through barriers.

Mental ones. One that we place around ourselves.

We can also call this “shattering beliefs” or “overcoming adversity”.

It has a lot of names. Because it’s imperative to growth.

This is why mindset is important and why it matters.

Because if you want to SEE IT you have to BELIEVE IT.

A little narrative for ya:

This weekend I broke a big barrier for myself. I’ve always been athletic, but running was never my gig. I have been working on keeping my brain in balance and what has really helped me in the past is running.

But I only ever ran around 1 or 2 miles. That was a big deal for me. That meant I was getting it done. That was enough.

But it was also all I thought I could do.

So about a week or so ago, I broke 3 miles. That was a game changer. It meant that “THE LIMIT DID NOT EXIST!” the limit was, in fact, in my mind.

So last weekend. Last Saturday to be exact, I set out to do the impossible, I wanted to run 5 miles.

I put on my headphones, I have been using the Nike Run Club app. (highly suggest it) so that I had coaching in my ears and something to track my time. I procrastinated for 2 hours and I finally got to the bike path. And I started.

At the end of that hour, I had run 5.43 miles.

I had changed my beliefs by proving to myself I could do it.

Next weekend, I’m running 7 miles and then 10. All the way to half marathon distance.

Why? Because I want to know that I can. That I can manage my brain around an impossible goal and break through that barrier. This isn’t so much about running as it is knowing what is POSSIBLE.

I literally believed that I would never tackle that distance. And here I am, on the other side.

So how can you apply this to your life?

Do you have beliefs that you “can never weigh” a healthy weight?

Do you have beliefs that you “can never make” that amount of money?

Do you have beliefs that you “can never _____” fill in the blank?

Because I want you to challenge that mentality. Because human potential is limitless, we create, build and solve problems all day long. To quote Marie Forleo “Everything is figureoutable”

Recently master coach Brooke Castillo did a podcast about “Impossible Goals” and my biggest takeaway from that episode is this:

The answer to achieving the impossible is in our daily tasks.

By doing what’s possible every single day, whether that’s sticking to our diet, sticking to our plan, showing up for work, learning the lessons, even FAILING, that is the path to the other side.

So be patient, be clear, strive forward and CHECK YOUR BRAIN. Because that idiot will tell you all the false beliefs you’ve ever believed to be true about yourself. Whether they still apply or not. We will talk more about that later.

Have a good week everyone. Til next time,

Alissa

The Path of Least Resistance

Winter can be difficult, am I right?

It’s cold or raining. There is stress, there is change, but that change doesn’t seem to come quickly enough.

But the seasons are changing my friend. And with them, we must go along too.

As the northern hemisphere begins to defrost and warm itself we begin to reawaken our senses. Inevitably there will be shifts, in relationships, jobs, health, family. Whether or not these changes come by our own making or as an external force we are responsible to react in a way that honors who we are and what we choose to create in our own lives.

When we resist change or push back in fear we can create so much pressure and pain within ourselves. Our brains can quickly descend into the worst case scenario and overwhelm.

Enter the art of allowing.

For those who are familiar with Abraham Hicks teachings, this will sound familiar. But like trying to swim upstream or against the tide, we create hardship instead of acceptance and flow.

It isn’t so much the circumstance of change that we need to allow, but more of the emotional experience.

If someone leaves and it makes you sad, allow yourself to be sad and flow with that emotion. If you have to go to work, go to work, but don’t force yourself to be at the top of your game, don’t numb out. Be.

Healthy allowing of feelings is crucial for our understanding of ourselves. It’s also crucial for our health. Acceptance and allowing of what is, may not be what we wish it, but it empowers us to respond in healthy ways, honoring our humanness, our beliefs, and how we wish to show up in the world. Authenticity at it’s clearest.

 

 

Are you your own worst boss?

I was listening to the Tim Ferris Podcast this morning with Seth Godin.

They were talking about lots and lots of things but this stuck out to me.

From an excerpt from Seth Godin’s Blog back in December of this past year:

The World’s Worst Boss:

That would be you.

Even if you’re not self-employed, your boss is you. You manage your career, your day, your responses. You manage how you sell your services and your education and the way you talk to yourself.

Odds are, you’re doing it poorly.

If you had a manager that talked to you the way you talked to you, you’d quit. If you had a boss that wasted as much of your time as you do, they’d fire her. If an organization developed its employees as poorly as you are developing yourself, it would soon go under. I’m amazed at how often people choose to fail when they go out on their own or when they end up in one of those rare jobs that encourages one to set an agenda and manage themselves. Faced with the freedom to excel, they falter and hesitate and stall and ultimately punt.

We are surprised when someone self-directed arrives on the scene. Someone who figures out a way to work from home and then turns that into a two-year journey, laptop in hand, as they explore the world while doing their job. We are shocked that someone uses evenings and weekends to get a second education or start a useful new side business. And we’re envious when we encounter someone who has managed to bootstrap themselves into happiness, as if that’s rare or even uncalled for.

This is important. Especially for me as a coach.

Because THIS IS THE SHIT WE WORK ON.

Self-management

Time Management

Making Good Decisions

Creating sustainable habits

Dialing in our everyday

Minimalizing distractions

Being the best damn boss of ourselves we can be.

Coaches exist to take our own life into our own hands and set it off in the direction of our dreams. We help people get out of their own way, work on their personal beliefs systems about how they feel about themselves. We work with clients to help them overcome negative self-talk and remove habits that hurt us, our goals, and our relationships?

Are you the world’s worst boss of yourself? Do the words in Seth Godin’s essay resonate with you? Considering hiring a coach, sitting down and talking one-on-one with what kind of person you want to be and how to get there.

Interested in coaching? Schedule an appointment with me here: https://calendly.com/vivant-coaching/mini-session

 

 

Episode 10 Concept to Experience

 

In today’s episode, we are going raw! I am talking about moving from a concept of the life you want to EXPERIENCING the life you want.

We are talking about daily decisions, life visions, and everyday actions to get you on the path toward the concept you have of the life you want. The journey begins! Let’s get started.

Check it out! https://www.spreaker.com/show/2963434/episodes/feed

Celebration and Mourning

Celebration, Mourning.

My youngest sister got married. It was the most amazing wedding I have ever been too. Everyone I love and have known forever was there.

My sister and her new husband have a beautiful relationship and they were truly celebrated.

We are so proud of them.

As this was the very best day of their life (hopefully more to come), there are so many emotions that come to the surface around family, past family of origin pain, divorce, death, loneliness, self-worth, personal identity within a framework that you may or may not have experienced in years.

Family reunions can have similar effects, funerals, anywhere where so many intertwined histories combine can create emotional experiences that can range from uncomfortable to completely overwhelming.

What is beautiful about this emotionally charged kind of event is that there are so many opportunities for sharing, supporting. Telling people you love them, or that you are sorry. Finding hope in what your loved ones have overcome or created, that you may do the same.

It has taken me a full two days to process all of the amazing interactions I had that night.

The beauty of two truly amazing people getting married, reconnecting with those I love, missing those who are no longer with us.

There is room for all of it.
We are messy emotional human-folk of course.
We all belong no matter what we’ve done.
Our feelings are valid.
Our pain and suffering are real.
Our joy is real.

So in times of celebration, when all the feelings rise up, allow them. Recognize them, name them to honor them.
But most importantly, heal them.
For yourself, and the life you wish to create.

Release, and remember the good parts that you want to keep.
Forgive yourself and others, because the opposite is what is keeping humanity locked against one another.

Never forget we all matter. Because we do.
Center in love, and non-judgment.
And party your ass off with all the people you love.

Cry a little if it hurts.

With love and celebration,

Alissa

Do you ever eat your feelings?

Do you ever emotionally shut down so you don’t have to be uncomfortable?

Do you drink wine when you’re stressed and upset?

 

I think we all do some kind of emotional suppression in search of relief and comfort.

This past month I experienced the death of a family member, and it was brutal.

The way she passed was inhumane, wrong, it shouldn’t have happened, to her or anyone.

I not only grieved for her, but I grieved for the state of humanity that would produce such an audacious act of violence.

I was driving home from our family vacation with my husband and children. As I drove, I allowed myself to just feel it all.

To feel the pain, the disappointment, the disgust of what had happened.

I cried on and off, quietly with myself. I felt the pain in my heart and heart chakra. I was uncomfortable. But I allowed it.

I stopped trying to change how I felt.

I paused and sat with my feelings.

I felt all of my emotions.

I remembered who I am, that feeling this pain was human and beautiful, and that she is now at peace. I remembered what I can control, and what I can’t. I remembered her and sent silent prayers to heaven.

This process for me, although not comfortable, and not easy, allowed me to truly feel.

Without drinking it away, without smoking it away, without eating or tv or distraction.

As we have been preparing for her funeral on Saturday, I have been able to see everything clearly, hold her in my heart and feel emotionally grounded because every feeling had been allowed to flow through my body, my heart, and my tears.

If you are feeling discomfort, sadness, frustration, pain, hurt, stop, pause, feel and remember. Remember that you can feel any feeling and a feeling is the worst thing that can happen.

Sending you love, healing, and hugs.

 

Alissa

Episode #5 with Jaime Messina!

I personally adore her, although we have never met in person.

Jaime is an inspiring fitness influencer on social media. Her emphasis on health, mental wellness, and her love for being an Aunt bring a lot of joy, hope, and inspiration to my social feeds.

I loved having her on the podcast because she BLOOMS.

Her story is inspiring and her work is amazing. I’m so honored to introduce you to her.

 

Check it out!

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-bloom-method-podcast-episode-6-with-guest-jamie-messina/id1399104144?i=1000418090022&mt=2

Your Personal Environment

So a couple years ago I attended a transformation coaching seminar and the instructor was coach Chris Lee.

Chris Lee is also Lewis Howes, from the School of Greatness podcast, coach. So this guy is major and he is on the podcast often.

During one of his recent interviews with Lewis, he talked about your “Personal Environment” and he doesn’t go deep into that idea in the podcast but I have been chewing on this concept for months.

I believe in stewardship deeply. Being responsible, being a good neighbor, making sure that those who are in my personal environment comfortable.

My husband and I are on Daufuskie Island in South Carolina. During our stay we make sure to talk to the local people who live here, support small businesses and clean up trash alongside the roads. She is just a little island, but we have so much love for it and we feel like we are being good stewards of the place we love to visit.

So how do we become good stewards of ourselves? And our personal environment?

I have

been really thinking about this deeply and truly.

While on vacation a lot of stuff comes up for me. My health, my weight, am I doing what I’m supposed to be doing? And I’ve decided that I’m done wasting my vacation and relaxation time because I haven’t done the work daily so that I can enjoy the week fully.

Daily Work

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Daily work of doing what my body needs, doing the everyday menial tasks, making the tough choices so that when it’s time to rest and play, all is tidy nothing is in limbo.

Getting things on the calendar ahead of time.

Checking it and updating it every day.

Knowing where I want to spend my time and energy.

Resting when I need to rest.

Setting an alarm to wake up daily at the same time.

Knocking down a mile so my brain and body are healthy.

Eating the right things so that when I indulge I’m not rattled with guilt.

Making sure my brain in under control and I’m not indulging in obsessive thinking or negative self-talk

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Knowing Where You Are Going

Setting Goals

Knowing who you are and what you want

Changing and taking action so that you are happy with who you are

Seeking guidance when you are lost

Being in control of your own life, time and destiny

Being Responsible

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For your words

Being a leader in your own life

Being honest

Communicating feelings and resolving differences

Creating healthy boundaries for those who aren’t adding to your life experience in a positive way

Making sure you are mentally healthy! It’s YOUR responsibility!

 

 

 

We create environments everywhere we are. Your home is an environment, your car, your office, and you are responsible for being a good steward.

Keep that grass cut, water the flowers, plant new things, pull out the dead ones, and put some fun music on. I’ll bring drinks.

Talk to you next week,

Alissa

 

On this week’s episode, we discuss ridding ourselves of toxins, doing fulfilling work and balancing motherhood and self-care. Amy Jo Hamilton has created an educational beauty experience and has built her Beauty Counter business quickly with finesse and passion. Tune in!

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/bloom-method-podcast-episode-5-guest-amy-jo-hamilton/id1399104144?i=1000416338807&mt=2

PS: If you like the podcast please subscribe or leave a review!

 

“Fragrance is the new 2nd hand smoke.”

-Amy Jo Hamilton

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About Amy:

My name is Amy Jo Hamilton and live in Columbus, OH with my 20-month-old son Henry and Husband, Andy.

My career background is in corporate retail, I worked as a buyer for 13 years, at companies like L Brands, Acena, and DSW.

When I was at the top of my game and pregnant with our son ( after a long fertility struggle) I was caught up in a huge round of layoffs and lost my job. I was devastated and took it was a huge hit to my ego!

Then my “side hobby” Beautycounter came into play, being 25 weeks pregnant and after going on multiple interviews, that just didn’t feel right, I decided to dive head first into my Beautycounter business. Beautycounter is a direct retail brand that sells safe beauty, personal care, sunscreen and kid products thru three channels of distribution: eCommerce, consultants, and pop-up shops/collaborations. I was drawn to their mission of getting safer products in the hands of everyone and loved the freedom and flexibility Beautycounter offered me.

 

I am now a Director for Beautycounter and lead a team of over 35+ girls and growing daily. With this flexible schedule

I was able to also get back into my other true passion  – yoga & group fitness. I am currently completing my 200-hour yoga teacher training.

 

So, when people ask what I do all day I say I help change people’s lives from the inside out and I be the best mama and wife I can be!

 

My #1 piece of advice is to follow your gut, never settle and go for the NO! There is no such thing as failure, just feedback. You are the only person that will take care of you and ensure you are not only serving your clients, but you are getting served by them as well.

 

In my free time, I love working out (running, barre, yoga), reading (now listening to books on audio- let’s be real who has time to read?), traveling, spending time with my family and pampering myself! Self-care is super important, especially for women and mamas! It is okay to take some time for yourself!

 

You can find Amy on IG @AmyHamiltonBeautyCounter

Or join her FB Group Here: Better Beauty. Better You with Amy Jo Hamilton