Restoring Joy

There is no feeling I relate to more or actively seek in my life than joy.

Joy reminds me of sunshine and smiling.
Watching children giggle and play.

So how do we restore joy in our lives?

How do we find the good and all the beauty that goes with it?

Especially after we have sustained hardship for long periods of time?

When I am dealing with a particularly difficult time in my life, and it feels unbearable, we can find joy in simple things:

  • Beautiful place setting
  • Cooking a healthy meal
  • Tea
  • Walks in the woods

Taking time out to be present with beauty, simplicity, nourishment and a reminder that we are separate from our circumstances and we can honor our bodies and ourselves in this place.

Another option is to seek out long term joy.
Goal setting and showing up daily or several times a week to grow and change.

This could be a physical change or an online course for business.
It could be the creation of an art project.

Whatever this looks like to you, the daily effort to create will often cause strife and frustration as we grow through it.

But on the other side of this effort lies joy, confidence, capability and personal evolution.

Watching a funny movie, going through old photos, anything that can bring joy back to your heart.

We can always create an intention for more joy in our lives.

When we seek an emotional experience, it makes it easier to recognize what aligns with that feeling and what does not. This is a different approach to change in our life. Whereas some may seek to achieve or create goals and accomplish them, we can always seek something a little more pervasive, our desired emotional state.

When I was a new Mom with 3 boys very close in age (one year apart) I was a WRECK. I was tired, I was exhausted. My husband worked constantly and I was at home with my three little boys alone. I was suffering, I was angry, tired, lost, resentful, I didn’t know who I was and I definitely didn’t know where to start. So one day I decided I wanted a feeling, and that feeling was sweetness.

I began to notice their little smiles as I changed their diapers. I began to see the beauty and innocence in their behavior and I began to shift out of the victimhood, pressure, and insanity that I had been living with. I took them to parks and we packed little lunches. I took them on drives out to the county where they would just sleep and I would watch cows and sheep walk on green grassy fields and listen to their sweet deep breathing in the back seat.

I was taking back my life and it looked like sweetness.

Things weren’t perfect but they were headed in the right direction.

You can apply joy in your life in the same way. If you seek joy you will find it. When we seek what we want we will find yourself noticing things that bring us joy.

You can replace joy with whatever feeling you have in your heart but I ask you to seek the feeling you desire most and see what happens in your life.

*Danielle LaPorte’s Book the Desire Map is an excellent resource and workbook for seeking the emotional state we desire. You can find it on Amazon here: https://read.amazon.com/kp/embed?asin=B00H7MKSRY&preview=newtab&linkCode=kpe&ref_=cm_sw_r_kb_dp_PxOFCbQBJV6EZ

Mental Barriers

Today I’d like to talk about breaking through barriers.

Mental ones. One that we place around ourselves.

We can also call this “shattering beliefs” or “overcoming adversity”.

It has a lot of names. Because it’s imperative to growth.

This is why mindset is important and why it matters.

Because if you want to SEE IT you have to BELIEVE IT.

A little narrative for ya:

This weekend I broke a big barrier for myself. I’ve always been athletic, but running was never my gig. I have been working on keeping my brain in balance and what has really helped me in the past is running.

But I only ever ran around 1 or 2 miles. That was a big deal for me. That meant I was getting it done. That was enough.

But it was also all I thought I could do.

So about a week or so ago, I broke 3 miles. That was a game changer. It meant that “THE LIMIT DID NOT EXIST!” the limit was, in fact, in my mind.

So last weekend. Last Saturday to be exact, I set out to do the impossible, I wanted to run 5 miles.

I put on my headphones, I have been using the Nike Run Club app. (highly suggest it) so that I had coaching in my ears and something to track my time. I procrastinated for 2 hours and I finally got to the bike path. And I started.

At the end of that hour, I had run 5.43 miles.

I had changed my beliefs by proving to myself I could do it.

Next weekend, I’m running 7 miles and then 10. All the way to half marathon distance.

Why? Because I want to know that I can. That I can manage my brain around an impossible goal and break through that barrier. This isn’t so much about running as it is knowing what is POSSIBLE.

I literally believed that I would never tackle that distance. And here I am, on the other side.

So how can you apply this to your life?

Do you have beliefs that you “can never weigh” a healthy weight?

Do you have beliefs that you “can never make” that amount of money?

Do you have beliefs that you “can never _____” fill in the blank?

Because I want you to challenge that mentality. Because human potential is limitless, we create, build and solve problems all day long. To quote Marie Forleo “Everything is figureoutable”

Recently master coach Brooke Castillo did a podcast about “Impossible Goals” and my biggest takeaway from that episode is this:

The answer to achieving the impossible is in our daily tasks.

By doing what’s possible every single day, whether that’s sticking to our diet, sticking to our plan, showing up for work, learning the lessons, even FAILING, that is the path to the other side.

So be patient, be clear, strive forward and CHECK YOUR BRAIN. Because that idiot will tell you all the false beliefs you’ve ever believed to be true about yourself. Whether they still apply or not. We will talk more about that later.

Have a good week everyone. Til next time,

Alissa