Do you ever eat your feelings?
Do you ever emotionally shut down so you don’t have to be uncomfortable?
Do you drink wine when you’re stressed and upset?
I think we all do some kind of emotional suppression in search of relief and comfort.
This past month I experienced the death of a family member, and it was brutal.
The way she passed was inhumane, wrong, it shouldn’t have happened, to her or anyone.
I not only grieved for her, but I grieved for the state of humanity that would produce such an audacious act of violence.
I was driving home from our family vacation with my husband and children. As I drove, I allowed myself to just feel it all.
To feel the pain, the disappointment, the disgust of what had happened.
I cried on and off, quietly with myself. I felt the pain in my heart and heart chakra. I was uncomfortable. But I allowed it.
I stopped trying to change how I felt.
I paused and sat with my feelings.
I felt all of my emotions.
I remembered who I am, that feeling this pain was human and beautiful, and that she is now at peace. I remembered what I can control, and what I can’t. I remembered her and sent silent prayers to heaven.
This process for me, although not comfortable, and not easy, allowed me to truly feel.
Without drinking it away, without smoking it away, without eating or tv or distraction.
As we have been preparing for her funeral on Saturday, I have been able to see everything clearly, hold her in my heart and feel emotionally grounded because every feeling had been allowed to flow through my body, my heart, and my tears.
If you are feeling discomfort, sadness, frustration, pain, hurt, stop, pause, feel and remember. Remember that you can feel any feeling and a feeling is the worst thing that can happen.
Sending you love, healing, and hugs.