Loving Ourselves

I work on myself constantly, I read all the books, I listen to all the podcast.

I journal

I take magnesium

I do all the self-care

But the thing I struggle with the most is loving myself.

The problem with always working with self-help and self-improvement is that you are constantly bringing to light imperfections.

Some healers and coaches refer to this as our “shadow” side.

And we all have it, right?

We are human, it is good and bad.

The light and the dark.


So here’s my coach confession: I don’t like my dark side.

The other day I broke down because I work so hard to eat right, be a good mother, be a good wife and be the best I can so that I can and a leader in my industry.

It wasn’t feeling like it was enough.

The shadow kept reminding me exactly who I was.


No matter how many steps forward it always feels like a step back.

And that step back sometimes triggers amnesia.


When I say amnesia, I mean I forget every good and decent quality about who I am.

I am all of a sudden a “bad person”

It doesn’t matter- obliterated, wiped out, all the good I intentionally do every day.

All of the progress I’ve made



It’s silly, right?

One misstep and it’s over.


So when this happens and the negativity starts driving me into the dark I remind myself who I am.

I write myself a little love note.

“I am proud of my strength, resilience, and creativity”

“I am proud of my children and how I’m raising them”

“I am proud that I am knocking my goals to the ground”


Because change and improvement can’t come out of a place of self-hatred.

Things grow with love.

That includes us.

So when I love myself, I remember that I will make mistakes and that I can learn from them.

I remind myself that every day, every hour, every minute is an opportunity to bring about positive change.

Sometimes it’s hard to sit with the guilt, shame and, embarrassment so I question if it’s true.

I watch the way my brain works when these feelings come up and I sit with them.

Sometimes I hike it out in the woods and sometimes I have to run to get my mind out of the cycle.


So if you are working really hard to make a change, try love.

Try compassion.

Try understanding.

Talk to yourself like you would a friend.

Talk to yourself in the mirror.

Write yourself a love letter.

We are all deserving of love.


We grow stronger in environments of love, support, and nourishment.

We can grow weary in an environment of pressure, isolation, and punishment.

So love yourself every chance you can.

Know that I love you too.



2 thoughts on “Loving Ourselves

  1. Excellent!

    Our culture swings from one extreme to other on how we are to treat ourselves. We are given the choice of being our own task master denying every need and never receiving help or narcissistically clawing our way to the top abusing everyone and everything along the way. The balance is truly loving ones self while we hold others in high regard.

    Not “just them.” Not, “just me.” but both! I really think you captured self-love, self-care and self-maintenance in a concise, moving and effective way here.

    Good stuff,
    – Rob
    Just a fellow coach chiming in. 🙂


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