School is winding down, we are moving swiftly into summer’s warmth and everything is shifting into a more relaxed schedule.
The only problem is, I don’t know how to relax.
When schedules and structure go away I get really anxious. I feel like I’m failing like I’m not doing what I’m “supposed to do”.
I spend a lot of time working with and reading self-help. Yesterday when I was walking I had an insight, am I trying to be better? Or am I trying to fix myself?
The answer is I’ve been trying to fix myself all along.
I have been diving deep into my self-worth issues over the past two months and I’m awestruck as to how far they go.
So I titled this blog post “Meet Me Where You Are” because yesterday that is exactly what I did.
As I walked along the golf course, green and lush after the rain, I decided to accept myself where I am right now. I have decided to focus on the wins so far. It’s no easy task raising three boys so close in age, never the less having a work from home business and my husband’s business. We aren’t messing around here. We have it pretty much together, but I still feel so far behind.
So today, I’m accepting myself where I am, and I will move from this place of wholeness, humanity, and self-love to higher levels that feel deeply right to me, rather than what I feel like I “should” be. Because the truth is that I’m messy, broken, outrageous, alive, happy, sad and everything in between.
When there isn’t a place to honor all the pieces, that’s where the fragmentation comes in. That’s where the isolation, the hiding, the shame, and guilt reside. Instead of lovingly healing those parts of ourselves we often shove them down with food, tv, alcohol, drugs, exercise, work. None of these things are inherently bad, but when we use them to shut down our pain they become a dark cycle of shame and hiding.
So meet me where you are, and I will love you there, and I will love myself just as I am. Let us bring change in a loving way, let us nurture and love ourselves like a thoughtful gardener rather than a drill Sargeant.
Take yourself into your own arms this week.