Supportive Roles

Yesterday I made a quick video about why supportive roles matter.

I wanted to discuss this a little more thoroughly.

As a Mom, an entrepreneur and the wife of an entrepreneur my life is very support focused. I support my children and my husband so that we can have a functional existence.

For a very long time, I felt so resentful of this “position”. It felt thankless and overwhelming.

The bitterness was real.

I would find myself blowing up about really stupid stuff. I was really unhappy with my life and the role I was playing in it.

But something changed.

When I decided to start my own business and take control over some of my stuff- rather than just other people’s stuff, that was the beginning of my mental reframing. I was supporting other people, but I was also making my dreams a priority too. I started to step into a win-win situation. The resentment started to lift.

But something else happened. I started to become a teammate instead of an overloaded, heavily burdened Mom. I started to see how critical my role was, and the value of what I was providing. As I moved back from the details and began to see the big picture, I realized that I have a lot of control over this life, and my children and the businesses we run as a family. This has been one of the most empowering revelations I’ve had in my relationship so far.

Currently, we are building systems and calendars. We are putting together our dream visions and seeing how they go hand in hand. I am more deliberate in what I’m doing because I’m ahead of the game. I’ve cleaned up the clutter and now I can see the dirt on the baseboards and get it cleaned up both literally and figuratively. And by doing so I’m not reacting. I’m not indulging in the resentment of the laundry. It is a task item for a bigger project and I’m just going to get it done. I’m not going to fight with the idea and resist the everyday responsibilities.

I told my son that my husband was doing chores and he was busy. My son asked me “What are chores?”

And I said “chores are part of being responsible and taking care of our things”
But it got me thinking, why do they have to be chores. Why even feel the burden of the responsibility. Why not be grateful. Why not have a new approach. Especially as a small business owner.

I work with a coach named Erin Ware. We have been coaching one another for at least 2 years. I was complaining about a mundane task and how infuriating it was. She suggested that I just put my headphones on and make it fun. Do it anyway.  What a concept! Ha!

Anyway.

Our current culture doesn’t recognize the support roles like they do the frontman/woman, it’s not of significant value to others. Just look at how much childcare providers get paid. But it is critically important. Recognizing the value you provide and the value of the work you do has to come from within us because it’s not guaranteed that someone else will give us praise. All the greatest accomplishments come from teams. Everything is equally valuable. Regardless of what western society tells us.

Keep up the good work.

Alissa

 

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