The Ritual Trap

Every morning you wake up, planning the night before, to write 2-3 pages via the Artist’s Way. Set and meditate on your intentions. Get full blown beautiful and give yourself the time for your self-care to do list.

In the evening you intend to do yoga, cook mindfully and bathe and journal.

But you’ve woken up late again, the kids need to leave for school in 30 minutes. The dry shampoo is your only weapon.

Where the fuck is the coffee.

You mad dash out the door.

After the hurricane is over you are left with heart palpitations and GUILT for not being up and doing your planned rituals. For not being the woman who sets intentions and curates her life step by step by step.

Because you just can’t forgive yourself for not being perfect.

Rituals are meant to be touch-places for us to ground. To have a tea ritual, meditation, journal or walking so that we can recenter and find the present moment in the chaos that is every day. But as I’ve seen the landslide of self-care articles and lists dripping from Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest, I’m becoming concerned that is just becoming another weapon of unworthiness for women to wield against themselves.

You have permission to not have a perfectly balanced life.

I think for most women there is always a bulge to one side of the wheel or the other.

Things come in to focus and priorities move out of view.

And that’s ok.

Let things go. Don’t make yourself feel like “Failure #1” because you couldn’t get to the list of things you thought would help you feel better. Because in all reality they could very well be making you feel worse.

Another way to approach this is to intentionally seek beauty in the everyday. To find moments of appreciation. To stop and check your breathing and make sure you still are.

We are always enough. Always.

Whether you go to that class or not.

Whether you write those pages or not.

I’m not saying you should mettle in mediocrity but I AM saying that when we are in a place of acceptance and authenticity it is much easier to intentionally create what we want then when we are throwing daggers at our own hearts for not fitting a mold we were never meant to fit.

Love yourself, love others.


Vivant Coaching



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