Bloom Series: Seeds: The Importance of Emotional Intelligence

joanna-kosinska-38381Over the next several months I will be posting a series on how to bloom. This is the 1st article in the series.

Personal Growth.

It is my favorite part of life.

I love working hard to be my highest and best self.

We are bombarded daily with new and different ways to do things day in and day out.  “Do these three things to have your most productive morning yet!”.

But what does personal growth really look like overall? Well, I personally believe it looks a lot like the cycle of a flower, I believe we bloom as we grow.

In this series I will be talking about the 6 stages of blooming in our lives; seeds, soil, leaves and vines, budding, blooming and surviving winter. For this first post, we will be talking about seeds, who we are, the potential inside of us, and how we can utilize our brains and environment to grow in to exactly who we want to be.

So what are the two most important ingredients for flowers?

Water and the sunshine.

I would like to propose that we think of water as our thoughts and sunshine as our feelings. Our thoughts and feelings are directly connected. Without a thought, there is no feeling. You have to have a thought to experience an associated emotion. So what is the most important aspect of growth and blooming?

Our thoughts and feelings are directly connected. Without a thought, there is no feeling. You have to have a thought to experience an associated emotion.

So what is the most important aspect of growth and blooming?

Emotional Intelligence.

According to Psychology Today, emotional intelligence is the ability to identify and manage your own emotions and the emotions of others. Also known as your EQ. It is essential for all successful people to fully succeed. 

Identifying your own emotions sounds rather straight forward, but in our culture of constant emotional bombardment, whether it be through the news or social media feeds or what have you, we can lose track of our feelings. We can also choose not to feel them.

Choosing not to feel your feelings looks like a couple of things:

  1. Eating your feelings
  2. Drinking to forget
  3. Binge watching TV
  4. Over working

The list goes on. This is what my favorite coaching teacher Brooke Castillo describes as buffering. These are usually symptoms of a larger issue, of more painful emotions or experiences that we don’t want to process.

These are usually symptoms of a larger issue, of more painful emotions or experiences that we don’t want to process.

So what does processing these emotions mean? Feeling your feelings fully.

Most of these buffers have negative consequences including addiction, obesity and can deeply affect our most intimate relationships. And once we’ve gotten in so deep, it’s hard to remember what we are avoiding, we become entrenched in shame and self-doubt. We begin to think something is wrong with us.

Our brains are wired for this kind of thing, and so is our body.

We can become addicted to any of the above things I’ve mentioned. They all produce a huge dopamine hit, keeping us trapped in our behavior and enforcing the need for it to continue.

But when we manage our minds we can begin to change that. When we are consciously choosing our thoughts and feeling our feelings we have the potential to do and be anything. If we do not fear emotion, we can overcome rejection, we can overcome painful experiences.

A simple way to begin connecting is through meditation. Set a timer, or go for a walk, undistracted by podcasts, music etc. Let your thoughts free flow become aware of what you are thinking.

Once you are able to really observe where your mind is going you can begin writing things down, identifying all of the noise in your head. How much of this is really truly serving you? As

So as we begin to build ourselves as seeds, lets take out some of the toxicity in our own minds.  We want to be feeding ourselves with only the best.

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